Postmortem
- Chapter 5 -
When Sarah was put to bed, by both her parents for the first time in her life, Gibbs and Jenny walked outside to have a moment to them selves. Jenny sensed the tension building in Gibbs and she hurried away from the house to keep Sarah and Mike from overhearing their inevitable row.
"Jenny," Gibbs prompted her when they were at a safe distance from prying eyes and ears. Jenny sighed, bracing herself for his anger.
"Sarah is yours Jethro, our child. I'm sorry I never told you."
"You're sorry?!" he asked incredulously but Jenny just raised her hand to silence him.
"Please let me explain."
Leaving Gibbs was breaking Jenny's heart. She had written him a letter telling him she felt suffocated in their relationship but the truth was she had never felt better. For the first time in her life she was completely in love with a wonderful man and while they fought like cat and dog sometimes the rest was fantastic. They got along, their interests were quite similar and the sex was great.
Now she stood in front of her bathroom mirror, cursing her five point plan while constantly feeling nauseous. She was soon to find out if her suspicions were right. Nervously she took the stick and when she saw the result her face went white as a ghost. Her free hand shot up to her belly and she couldn't help but to feel a little amazed at her and Jethro creating a new life. A life that was currently growing inside her.
"I'm going to be a mother..." she spoke out loud, and realized with a pang of guilt that she couldn't keep the child if she was going to follow her plan. Anger bubbled up inside her suddenly.
"Damn you Jethro! Why did you have to be so wonderful and make me fall in love with you?"
That night Jenny cried herself to sleep.
Gibbs stared at Jenny as if she'd gone insane.
"You actually thought about abortion?"
"Yes, I did. How the hell was I to raise a child alone? Besides, I couldn't stay with NCIS either because everyone would realize the child was yours. There was enough gossip about us as it was; it didn't need to be fueled further by me getting mysteriously pregnant."
Jenny crossed her arms and met Gibbs famous stare defiantly, daring him to speak what she knew was on his mind. He stayed quiet, at least long enough to let his reason beat his anger.
"Who took care of Sarah while you were working on a case? And how did you even manage to stay with NCIS? Even though you're a great agent, a swelling belly isn't that easy to hide."
"My mother took care of her. I visited as often as I could but being Director doesn't give you plenty of spare time. When my mother got stalked I immediately decided to move Sarah and since I knew you trusted Mike with your life I asked him to do us a favor. Luckily he approved."
Jenny sighed, glad to finally be rid of the burden of keeping this huge secret from Gibbs. She could sense his disapproval of her actions and silently wondered if he was going to hold this against her forever or eventually understand her motives.
After what seemed like forever Jethro inhaled deeply, as if to say something. He decided to leave her alone instead, anger and disappointment radiating off his entire body. Him leaving hurt Jenny more than fighting ever could. Leaving meant giving up.
A few weeks after their first postmortem meeting Jenny and Jethro still barely spoke to one another. Of course the façade was up as long as Sarah was around but when the darkness surrounded them they both lay aching in their beds, wondering what might have been.