Mamma Mia!
- Mamma Mia -
Category: Some strange mixture... To be honest, I'm not really sure what it is... O.O
Rating: PG, I guess
Contents: After all she had done, he still couldn't resist her...
Spoiler: Only if you don't know "Kill Ari".
Disclaimer: Nothing mine, but even if it was, I wouldn't do something like that here with the show... because, this is only for fun (and not for profit)!
The memories hit him like a big hammer. A heavy, painful punch that brought back so many pictures, sounds, odors and emotions.
There she was, standing in front of him, smiling at him, as his new boss. Six years after she had left him, six years after this intensive and passionate relationship they had shared.
I've been cheated by you
And I think you know when
So I made up my mind, it must come to an end
Look at me now, will I ever learn?
To him it felt like it has been yesterday; her leaving him; leaving him back with only a short letter that had explained nothing, and the coat he had bought her. He had thought that it was over, and that he was through with this whole story, the he was through with her. He wasn't so presumptuous to believe that he had ever forgotten about her, but at least he had thought that he had left it all behind him.
But now, with her again in front of him, with being able to look into her eyes again, it felt like they had never parted. She was still this beautiful woman he had gotten to know in those days, and the look she was watching him with was telling him that she had become much more confident than she had been.
He wasn't able to do anything against it. He felt how he fell for her again; in not more than five minutes, he was caught be her beauty and this look in her eyes that was so unique for her, and so mesmerizing, again. He tried to remind himself of what had happened all these years ago, but it didn't help.
I don't know how but I suddenly lose control
There's a fire within my soul
Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
One more look and I forget everything
He knew what he wanted to do right at this moment. She was irresistible and it took him all of his willpower to stop a few centimeters away from her when he went to her, to not lash into her. She was smiling at him with a mixture of shyness and loveliness and yet there was something devilish; she so know which effect she had on him.
Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
It didn't seem to be enough torture for him that she wasn't there. At least that had to be somebody's opinion, the opinion of any person or being that was responsible for this whole situation. No, of course she needed to say his name in this very special way that made his heart and his stomach shake hands. Not to speak of the lump in his throat. He was more than grateful that he managed a smile that wasn't showing any of the confusion or weakness in his knees he felt at the moment
He thought he was able to hold himself back. He really should be able to hold back his true emotions for at least fifteen minutes. But her words about her opinion about any off-the-job contact nearly screamed for a teasing response. And he really said it. He told her he had missed her! He didn't trust himself anymore. Or his mind. Or his mouth! Especially the last he needed to keep shut.
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you
There had been a time he had hated her. Yes, in some way, he really had hated her. The end of their relationship had him affected more than the ones of the other three marriages. The ones which had ended with a divorce. She had never left his mind, or maybe his mind - him - had never been able to let go.
She had once broken his heart. The thought of it was making him nervous. A woman, breaking his heart? Christ, Jethro, when exactly had you started being so whiny? And the fact that one smile from her was able to put the pieces back together. He knew it was going to need some stitches to hold together correctly and to heal. He could already feel the stitches.
Yes, I've been broken-hearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Mamma mia, now I really know,
My my, I should not have let you go.
In the beginning, shortly after she had left, there had been times he really had been musing on the reasons. Why she had left him. If she had been missing something in their relationship. If there had been another man. Or if she'd only been homesick. He had never liked unfinished business and she was some. Leaving without an explanation. There had been only one thing he had been made sure of - that she wasn't returning. The way how she had left had told him this.
There had been moments he could have cried. Of course he hadn't, he wasn't the one for crying. Not because a woman had left him. There were many things worse than that. It would have been really shaming. No crying.
Well...
Okay, he had cried. For a few short moments, not more! But yes, Leroy Jethro Gibbs had cried.
He couldn't turn back time, and hell, he didn't want to either - although, in his opinion, losing his partner was a good reason to shed one or two tears. Or three. At least he had told himself so.
I was angry and sad when I knew we were through
I can't count all the times I have cried over you
When he found himself in front of her house, looking up to her bedroom window, he felt around thirty years younger. Only this time it wasn't good or desirable. Because he, as a grown-up man, acted like a teenager being in love for the first time. And somehow, it felt like being in love with a teacher, one of those unbelievable beautiful women every male student between the age of 13 and 19 was fantasizing about.
He shook his head and considered head slapping himself, but he preferred living with his thoughts and his foolishness than possibly being watched slapping himself. It wouldn't be too surprising if someone was watching him right at this moment, fudging from what had already happened on this day.
So he just ignored every protesting voice in his head and dialed her number on his cell phone. It didn't take her long to answer, and it didn't take him long to find appropriate words. He could tell that she found it a bit amusing. A bit was more than he had dared to wish for.
Look at me now
Will I ever learn
I don't know how, but I suddenly lose control
There's a fire within my soul
Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
One more look and I forget everything
It was frightening him a bit that he was getting braver with every minute he spend with her. He even mentioned their mission in Marseille. Not the mission exactly, but she knew all to well what he meant. She remembered it, and while her mouth and hands quieted him, her eyes spoke of pleasure.
He rolled his eyes.
Amusement. He meant amusement.
Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you
She was resisting him. Not that he had expected it to be different; the work-related position they were in was reason enough to reject him. They weren't exactly committed to keep some distance, but he knew Jen. Good enough to also know how she was thinking and what decision would follow those thoughts.
But heavens, he wanted this woman, whatever named work-related position was forbidding or not. He had spent six years haunted by the thoughts of her and dreams with her; really, that hadn't been fun. Especially not for Diane who had been very furiously one night when he had called out Jen's name.
He shook his head. Better not think about it, Jethro, he told himself, and took a deep breath. He had made the mistake to not guess that she was going to leave him once, and now he had to live with it. Or hadn't he?
Yes, I've been broken-hearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Mamma mia, now I really know
My my, I should not have let you go.
He had never been the one for reading into the future, but he nevertheless knew the cat-and-mouse game was going to start soon. During the time they had spent together they had never been able to keep their hands off each other. And it didn't matter if they had just been shot or of they had had an argument. In the end, they always had to admit that they were addicted to each other - and they had lived it out.
He could tell from his gut and from her eyes that this hadn't changed. This feeling, the desire and longing, was not gone by a long shot. He knew it, and he knew that Jen knew it as well. As much as they would exert themselves to keep their distance, sooner or later they were going to end up together again. He didn't want to think about the fact that this was the woman who had once broken his heart...
He looked at her as she walked beside him when they left the cemetery where they had just given Kate Todd her last honor.
Well. If a broken heart was the price he would have to pay - again - to have this woman, this really was a hot deal.
Mamma mia, now I really know
My my, I should not have let you go.
FIN