The Riddle

- Chapter 4: Revelations -

Jenny froze at the door. Goodnight Shannon, she was positive he'd said that and she pushed the door close and took a deep breath.

"What did you call me?" She asked in disbelief.

"I said..."

"Don't even try to cover it up, Leroy Jethro Gibbs! Maybe you hit your head today, you must have if you're calling ME Shannon," she reasoned. She hadn't turned to him but he could hear the panic in her voice.

"Maybe if I had, I would have noticed earlier. Jennifer Shannon Shepard, clever really, I never even noticed you two had reverse names."

"Jethro, what...what are you talking about?" Jenny questioned trying to sound confused.

"Drop it Jen, I know," he snapped back tossing a file on her desk. Jenny picked it up and saw the DNA comparisons between her and Abby and she saw the notes in Johanna's own hands and she knew she could no longer deny it.

"You've been acting differently all week, I thought it had to do with Maddie and the time capsule, but this is what you've been doing."

"All I want to know is why?"

"Why? God Jethro, there are so many reasons!"

"So give me the short version."

"Short? My father."

"He wanted you hidden." Jenny sighed; this was going to be a long night.

"Sit down Jethro," she said sliding into the chair behind her desk. "My father got involved in Loadstone. He met up with La Grenouille, but than things didn't go so well. He was afraid they would come after me and he was right. That bad relationship that Shannon had just gotten out of was what had happened." She saw him try to interrupt and held up her hand. "Questions later. My father got Johanna to make arrangements and suddenly Jenny Shepard had all but vanished and Shannon Hunter took her place. I cut my hair differently, I wore different clothes, became Shannon and than I met you. I wanted to tell you when Abby...uh Kelley was born but Johanna warned me. I couldn't put my daughter at risk. I never even considered the possibilities of us being separated. I didn't know that someone had figured it out. I was supposed to witness that murder, how incredibly tragic it would be for a mother and her young daughter to be killed after having been so brave in coming forward. They planned it," She explained bitterly.

He watched her knowing that this could not be easy and yet he kept his face clear of all emotions.

"Right after Shannon and Kelley were killed Johanna had found out about the explosion. Johanna had saved both Abby's life and mine. I wanted them to suffer so I took back my life as Jennifer Shepard. Johanna's friends, the Scuito's agreed to keep Abby. I made Johanna promise that you would be able to see her. I joined NCIS a few years later, you know the rest."

"You never said a thing," he accused.

"What was I supposed to say Jethro? I know about your first wife, Shannon, because I am her? Honestly, you would never have believed me and I couldn't let anyone discover the past."

"Why did you get off the plane?" He asked reminding her of the second time she'd left.

"Because they found me, or rather found you."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning just that, I did what I had to do, and I never thought I would end up Director!" She tried to calm herself down and watched as he absorbed it. "How did you find out anyway? Johanna would never have told you unless you already knew."

"I remembered some things after the coma I must not have remembered the first time."

"Like what?"

"Your father, we were at the park, you and Kelley were playing, and he was there. It took me weeks to figure out how it was possible for your father to know Shannon, when you seemed not to know her at all. You and Abby acted differently after I was back. When you told me about your father and La Grenouille it was too much of a coincidence and so I looked into your past. When Abby found the results from the Scotch bottle, she said she recognized the man, and so I started looking into her past. Your middle names really gave it away, the odds of both of you having reverse names, well you know I don't believe in coincidences."

"So you ran our DNA," she concluded.

"Yes, but I have to say I was almost positive about you before I did it."

"Maddie," Jenny sighed. "I said fifteen years and how could I have known that."

"Well yes, that was a little odd, but I found something slightly more incriminating." She raised an eyebrow as he approached the desk and leaned over opening the second drawer. She saw him grab a black box and knew instantly what was there. "I found this."

He opened the box to reveal a golden wedding band. Jethro removed the ring and held it up.

"I couldn't get rid of it," Jenny whispered.

"Yes well, the engraving was really all it took," he responded tilting the ring to display the inscription ‘Always faithful, Jethro.' "I only had one wife that had an engraved ring."

"Well know you now my best kept secret," she answered trying to control her emotions.

"And Abby?"

"Abby always knew, as she got older I gave her the option to let you find out about her or not," Jenny replied.

"And you?"

"Never me, Shannon is dead," she answered. "But Abby always refused. She already knew you cared for her as a daughter; she didn't want to upset you. You gave her the family she should have always had. Don't be angry with her Jethro, I'm the one who forbid her to say anything."

"You said she had the option?"

"And she did, and I had a plan for that, but Abby didn't want to reveal just herself. I can't run an agency looking over my back and have to deal with my wayward daughter."

"Looking over your back?"

"Until I see La Grenouille's body, there is always the possibility that he could be coming after me. He hasn't stopped in thirty years, he won't stop now and I could never handle losing my child."

He really wanted to understand but this was not how he'd pictured this conversation going. He had hoped she would be relieved that he knew but she just seemed angry. What does she have to be angry about? It's not like I left her! I didn't convince her I was dead for fifteen years! His anger was consuming him and before he said anything he might regret he knew he needed to calm down. He walked out the office door and down the steps, hearing a glass shattering behind him.

---

Abby was sure that when her mother found what she was doing, she was going to be pissed beyond pissed. She tried to steadfastly ignore that. She knew Gibbs had discovered her secret and in turn her mother's deception, but she really hoped he wasn't truly angry with either of them. She heard the car pull into the driveway and the front door open and slam close. She saw the basement door open and her father walk in.

"Hi Gibbs," she greeted quietly from her spot beside the boat.

"Abby, what are you doing here?" She sighed in relief, he didn't seem angry.

"I know you know, about me and the director, that she's my mother." He was silent. "There really isn't any way to say this and Mother, err the Director was only doing what she thought best and..."

"She was always a good liar," he muttered. "Relax Abby, I've already talked to her."

"So you know, that I'm..."

"Yea I know you're my Kelley," he answered softly sitting down beside her.

"Kelley, I haven't been called that in awhile."

"Which do you like better?"

"Abby, Maddie always called me Abby-K," Abby informed tears coming to her eyes.

"You knew the whole time?" He clarified and Abby nodded.

"I...brought some stuff." She held out a bag. "There's an album of me and Mom from afterwards, and journals too." He smiled and opened the first album, there was picture of Jen but no Abby."

"And this album?"

"Oh I borrowed some stuff from Mom, I found it after she became Director. It's from Paris," Abby explained.

"Does she know you have this?"

"Uh...did I mention the borrowing part?" Abby defended. "She probably won't notice, least not for a few days and I mean its not like you haven't seen most of the photos, she just writes captions."

"And these other two books?"

"There journals."

"Yours?"

"No," Abby answered. She pulled out the first one, a dusty brown with gold trimming. "This belonged to Shannon, the other is Jennifer Shepard's."

"Which I'm guessing she also doesn't know is missing."

"No, and she will notice when she gets home, but I can stall. The Shannon one...it has pictures, Jenny's does too, but Jenny's is, well I'd be careful reading it."

"Careful?"

"You'll see."

"Have you read these?"

"Parts after you left, Mom didn't do so good. She was angry a lot more and went after La Grenouille with everything she had. She cried a lot too, I don't think she ever knew I heard. No one ever sees the Jenny I do. She cries herself to sleep and dreams of the past. When you were in the hospital, and you woke up asking for Shannon, she lost it. I got rid of all the bourbon in the house and I made McGee put a tracker on her, and Ziva looked after her.

"Do they know?"

"No...well Ziva might suspect something more between you and her, but other than that, nothing." Abby noticed him starring out almost trying to remember something. "I should get going, Mom's probably looking for me, especially if you confronted her."

"Abby you never said a word."

"I followed the rules Dad, always listen to your mother, isn't that number?" His heart filled and seemed to put itself back together.

"Yea, that's number one. I'll bring these back to her later," he promise and Abby got up and left giving a little wave at the top of the stairs.

He watched her leave before going to the worktable and pulling something from behind it. He blew the dust off and opened the cover finding a picture of his wife and newborn daughter. He flipped through it reading the little comments below the pictures in his wife's hand. The album was filled with pictures, minus the last page. It was the only thing he'd ever actually placed in there himself, a clipping from a newspaper about their deaths. He felt his anger return at that but knew he needed to temper it.

Gibbs opened one of the albums Abby had left. It revealed Shannon and Kelley although the caption read Jenny and Abby. He watched the transformation of Shannon into Jen and Kelley into Abby and wanted to kick himself for never noticing. He got to the end and found another newspaper clipping. It was from Kate's funeral and he had his arms around both women and below the caption read:

Director Jennifer Shepard, Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs, and Forensic Specialist Abby Scuito, NCIS.

He remembered that day and noticed beneath the typed caption there was another handwritten one, that read ‘A Family Reunited.' He closed the album and picked up the second one Abby had left.

It was filled with pictures of him and her in Paris and other far off places. All were dated and different things filled the captions. Some were sentimental, memories both happy and sad, until the very last page. He was sure who had taken the first picture that caught his eyes but there they were, standing on the stairs, one step apart her first day as Director. The next had them both leaning over the railing, watching the area below them with their head slightly tilted toward each other. Others from their present filled this last page and the one in the lower right hand corner caught his attention as the most recent. It had to have been taken during the case with Maddie; he had turned to tell her something, barley a hand's distance between them. He closed the album and opened Abby's journal.

It held her hopes and dreams, a Christmas wish list for every year and a birthday wish. He read other entries before reaching her last one. She had seen a shooting star the night after she reencountered her old friend Maddie.

Maddie looks almost the same as I remember. She always was prettier. I never considered what she must have gone through, always thought she'd forgotten me. Mom told me she never could, that your best friend always remembers you. She apologized again. Some days I wonder if she ever regrets being Shannon or going back to NCIS and than I remember the scars I saw once when I was younger and I know she endured this and all other pain just to keep me and Dad safe.

Sometimes I wonder how long it will be before Dad decides to see what's in front of him. So she's not his Shannon, but Jennifer Shepard would go through hell and back for Gibbs. I made my wish on the shooting star, someday I hope Mom will tell him everything and if she only reveals me, I'll reveal her. She may not think he loves Jenny equal to Shannon but I've seen him with other women and he never treats any of them the way he treats Jenny.

He closed Abby's journal now understand the girl better than ever. He should have known that any child of theirs would be incredibly perceptive and so it was true. Abby had been the one who let him know that the team knew he and the director were ‘close,' and she truly disliked the Colonel and was generally found mentioning the Director whenever Colonel Mann was around. He looked at the other two books and tried to decide which one to read first. Perhaps he thought, Shannon would make Jen easier to understand.

So he began. There were entries about when they first met, first kissed, all of their firsts. There was an entry when they were married, when they found out she was pregnant, the baby's first heartbeat. The writing became sparse through Kelley's early years but she still wrote of her love for her husband and child. He remembered her memories and starred at all the old Polaroid's stuck with different entries until the last.

Tonight Shannon Jennifer Gibbs dies and Jennifer Shepard returns. I want to believe I made the right choice, but I can't. Johanna told me about Jethro's coma. I should have been there! I should have fought harder! Never again will they hurt my family. I know Jethro's strong and I hope he will find another to love him as I do.

I said my goodbyes tonight and it took all of my willpower not to run to him as he fell to his knees. I wish I'd never listened to Johanna and just told him instead but I could never see him hurt or worse Kelley...I mean Abby. I should burn this, but it shall be my happiness in this world, because my world without Jethro can never be truly happy. Goodbye Shannon, hello Jenny.

He wondered if she still meant what she had written. When they'd gotten involved in Paris it explained a lot actually. There had always been this touch of sadness that never left Jenny's eyes and now he knew what caused it. He may as well have been died, for she grieved as she did. He opened the last journal and a photo fell out. It was of them in Paris, his arms wrapped around her waist, he flipped it over to find a similar photo only this time she wore a white gown. Having the photos next to each other he found it hard to believe he had never noticed how similar they really were or perhaps he did and simply repressed it.

Gibbs read her first years as Jennifer Shepard reborn and was surprised at how dark they were. This was not the Jenny he knew and this revelation scarred him and he knew he would have to read the entire journal just to reassure himself that she never thought such fatal thoughts again. He finally reached the part where he entered or rather reentered her life and felt the sadness fade from the book. She had been so happy and yet she still fought with herself and when he finally reached the entry where she recounted the first time he told he loved her, he began to understand her battle.

He told me he loves me and I know he does, and I know he feels like he's given me his heart but he hasn't. He doesn't kiss me as he did her, he holds something back and I wonder if perhaps the healing in my heart that has occurred from being around him will ever happen for him. If he can't truly love Jenny than there is not going to be such a happy ending.

Gibbs furiously turned the pages, that's not true! I love Jenny...loved. How can she ever think I would love her second best to anyone? He read more entries and the entry where she left he noticed tear stains from a time long ago. She simply explained that she never wanted to lose him and that they hadn't given her much of a choice, whoever they were. Her happy tone returned as she recounted her first day as Director and he laughed as she rather accurately guessed his first thoughts upon seeing her again.

Ten to one odds he was picturing us in that attic in France, and not working.

It was odd how well she could read him. The entries varied in their topic but most had some reference to him. What I wouldn't have given to be able to know what went on inside her head. He read through her fears of losing Abby and how there was nothing she wanted more than to break down and how she knew he wouldn't let her down. When he reached the entry detailing her kidnapping he was surprised at the first lines.

He's sitting outside my door, hopefully asleep. He's already been in here, told me I would sleep through a nightmare, but I woke up. I heard him and I just wished he stayed. God I'm sorry, so sorry.

He was not surprised to learn she was awake, but he was surprised that she truly wanted him to stay. It had take great willpower for him not to fall down beside her and hold her. The next entry however revealed even more tears stains and was from right after he'd woken from the coma.

He called me Shannon. I wish I had just told him, but now I corrected him, he didn't remember, but why would he? Shannon was the one he loved. He cried for her begged for her, gripping my arm while the doctors subdued him. I couldn't tell him after that. I can't imagine how he survived last time, but I'm not going anywhere now.

Once the doctors left I lost it. I've cursed myself and I can't seem to find any diplomatic solution to this. I would shoot the one responsible for this myself, but I'm a coward. I don't think I will tell Abby, thought I know she's going to be after me for not telling.

Gibbs finished the entry and sat back starring off into space. Somewhere in his memories of that time in the hospital was the memory of a loving hand caressing the top of his head and voice whispering in his ear that she would never leave him again. He turned to the next entry and found it will about him leaving. She sounded so sure he would be back, confident in him and he knew she'd been right. After he'd come back and she'd ‘found' his retirement package he knew it was his old partner that was calling the shots and had not give up on him, even if he had. That night in his basement when she'd give her version of a pep talk, he knew she was right again, and so he stayed.

He continued reading her journal, through her thoughts on La Grenouille and her anger. The anger seemed to overtake the tone of her journal and it was only made worse as she thoroughly listed reasons to hate Colonel Mann. Gibbs had know she was somewhat jealous but the entry entitled ‘Reasons why Hollis Mann is Wrong For Him,' and reason one being she wasn't a redhead gave it away entirely. Yet he also couldn't understand how she'd tried to subdue her jealousy and be happy for him as was evident. All she had to do was say she wanted him and he was pretty sure he'd drop anyone else.

Gibbs kept reading and found her good humor restored as she described her enjoyment in dealing with his ex-wife. Grant it he knew Jenny had always been amused by his ex-wives but now he could understand that hurt that was sometimes there. While he was fairly certain that she understood he'd never loved any of them close to how he loved her in Paris he was entirely positive that she was thinking rationally. He continued on, amused with her words until he reached her last entry, similarly dated as Abby's last one, the day Maddie reentered their lives.

The past will not leave me alone. I knew the girl-looked familiar and as soon as I saw Abby I knew. Maddie Tyler, my daughter's best friend, all grown up and coming for help. When he left the second time I should've known he'd already figured it out. I'm glad DiNozzo saved Maddie and I suppose it was good I didn't go along to the docks as well. Abby read in her myspace that she thought she'd seen a ghost that morning, the ghost of her best friend's mother, aka me.

I knew I almost lost him again. I know I can't keep going on this way. Abby broke down in my arms tonight, she never stopped crying till we made it to Johanna's, who then left to go calm down Jethro. I don't know what he's so angry about, I tried not to pick a fight and I got him the info he needed.

Perhaps it took this sock to make me commit to paper the one thing I repeat whenever he's around. (God help me should he ever find this.) I'm sorry Jethro, I love you. My own mantra, he taught me that apologizing is a sign of weakness, so perhaps I'm weak. I will find La Grenouille, I'll let Johanna give him the info on Kelley and I will leave, never to hurt him again.

Gibbs snapped it shut. She was going to get away so easily. Aside from the fact that he knew how good a director she was, he knew she'd given up enough. He opened the drawer in his worktable and located the golden band that had not graced his fingers in fifteen years. He placed it on his left hand. So Shannon was really alive, but his wife still was. Jenny, Shannon it made no different, so long as it was her.

Chapter 5